Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize