Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Panties = found
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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