i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize