My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
