That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
