We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
