apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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