you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
