He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
