just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
