spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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