I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
