If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The beers last night were like the tears from god
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
