Are we in a gay sports bar?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
