We're facebook friends in real life
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
