He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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