Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
