I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
