forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
