The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize