they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
