DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
