Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
