I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
