We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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