i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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