Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
