I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
