Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
