my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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