i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
