im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
