she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
