you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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