Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I need water and some morals
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
