half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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