looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize