Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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