Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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