Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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