Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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