idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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