ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
