he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize