he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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