dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
