i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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