She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
