just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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