is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
