whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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