That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
