Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
return my video game
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
