You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
