I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
